final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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