i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
