This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
