I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
