Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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