Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
