if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
