If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
