I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
