Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
