She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
