I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
