So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
