White coat. Heels.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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