He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We got so high we made milksteak
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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