you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
