so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
