I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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