Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
