WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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