i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
