I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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