dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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