So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
