I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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