no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
