and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
