its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
