Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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