What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
operation harelip BJ is a go
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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