Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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