You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
