I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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