Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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