A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
