South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
