I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
