she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
