youre lurking in front of me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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