did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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