5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
