she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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