physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
