Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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