they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
