like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
