they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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