Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
