similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
