I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
