So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
