i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
