now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
